Have yourself a very merry...FREE ebook

Well, it is Christmas after all...

Mis-fit, Misplaced, Miss Shelly Clover is free as an ebook at Smashwords.

If you fancy a: Psychological - Fantasy - Dystopian - Mystery - YA ebook, weighing in at 110,000 words with a few five star reviews to boot, then it's all yours...for free.

Obviously, I can't do this at Amazon where it remains at the magic .99 cents/pence/euros (with the exception of the paperback).

As for Book 2 - Currently at 40,000 words...

HO HO HO
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"Daddy, it's only £119.99."

I’m struggling to teach my daughters the value of money.

When I was a kid - for my main Christmas present - I pined with all my heart for a Millennium Falcon and a BMX (The Blue one with the yellow trim around the wheels). With longing in my eyes, I’d scour the toy sections of the three catalogues we’d religiously receive every year. Day after day, during December (for several years) - I’d hope and hope my dreams would come true...

In the end, over the course of two years, I received an X-Wing fighter and a black Raleigh Strika. I didn’t mind and I was grateful…but I never, ever forgot that I didn’t get the others.

Two weeks ago, I pulled up those same catalogues online, and once more, wistfully searched and reminisced. Happy memories.  As I read down to the descriptions and prices of each, I was shocked to see that my X-wing cost £5 in 1983. Curious (and ever so slightly astonished), I then back-tracked and worked out the rate of inflation and discovered that here in the UK it’s tripled in 30 years.  My battle-damaged X-wing would now cost £15. The Millennium Falcon would be £39 in today’s money.

Wha…?

My eldest daughter tested a bike today in Halfords. ‘Daddy, it’s only £119.99.’ she announced.

I covertly purchased it. I’ll collect tomorrow. This is her main present, but there are other trinkets coming her way which, in themselves, far surpass the inflation-adjusted price of my *absent* Millennium Falcon. And, this whole process really got me thinking.

Am I soft-touch? Were my parents tight-fisted? Have I succumbed to consumerism big-time? Were my parents, in actual fact, realists? Are we all becoming the willing victims of mass Normative Social Influence, listening to our kids compare and contrast their ‘certain’ wish-lists (based upon their discussions with friends), and then bowing to their desires? 

My daughters have a picture of a Ugandan girl, Grace, on the fridge - a child they write to through World Vision. I constantly refer to her in front of them. I’d love for them to meet her. I’m also going to get them both a blessings jar, where they place inside a note of thanks at the end of each day; helping them putting just how much they have into perspective (I hope).

But, the question beggars: Despite getting a tablet, a bike and a Teksta puppy, will my eldest remember, in years to come, that she didn’t get the LEGO Heartlake Shopping Mall she’s requested (retailing at £69.99)?

I suspect that the onus lies on me - solely on me - to keep facilitating an attitude of gratitude in my kids and a true understanding of the ‘value’ of money. This is one of most essential things I must do - especially at this time of year. It’s something, as parents, we simply must do - and we can't 'afford' to neglect this. I’d like to help my kids get to the core of the real message of Christmas this year.

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It's very rare that I get pissed off, but...!

The fourth time! The fourth time this year…

1) February - stinking cold; teacher-pressure to attend a parent’s evening despite being visibly ill and contagious.

2) April - Sinusitis; a full-blown face infection that properly k’od me. I felt R.O.U.G.H

3) August - a strange 24hour sickness bug that brought me to my knees and lifted just as quickly.

4) November - Sore throat on Thursday, that has now morphed into (yet) another head cold.

Four times this year.

But, TBH, I usually get three illnesses a year. Is this normal? Do Nurses experience something similar tending to the sick? If so, I never hear it. I simply have to do something about my immune system…I am pig-sick of feeling like this. Sure, when you’re a teacher, you stand in front of 6 x 30 students (all facing towards you) on a daily basis, and frequently the sneezes and spluttering are never caught in even a mildly preventative manner.  They introduced flu-jabs at my old school for the first time four years ago. But, is it still normal to be this ill? I have become so resigned to catching a bug or ten that I have coined a new phrase: 

‘Another term, another germ.’

32 days of feeling crap (so far).

After I get shot of this virus, I am actively seeking ways to strengthen my immune system in preparation for my new year’s resolution:  Go a full year without sickness.

Any advice, anybody?

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Busman's Holiday in the United Arab Emirates

I love the term, ‘Busman’s holiday.’ People who drive the buses take a holiday, and then end up being passengers on the same buses they drove.

I find myself sitting by the turquoise waters on Saadiyat beach in Abu Dhabi. It’s my birthday and I should be relaxing. I take a pen in hand, and before I know it, I’m plotting and scheming; scrawling little pictures here and there. My seven year old nephew peers over at a sketch of what I have tentatively entitled, ‘The Burdened Oak’, and enquires why I’m spending an hour drawing a gherkin.

Truth is, I find writing a labour of love, and escaping the laptop and resurrecting the notepad has been pure joy. I went two whole days in Abu Dhabi before I was busting to work on some ideas. A couple of ideas really came to the fore, and I had a moment in a museum in authentic, old Dubai where something just clicked - it just slotted into place. I’ve also being having dreams, and on waking, am reminded of concepts that I really must revisit and stay focused upon. Strange experience that. Could be jet-lag related, but as an author, I'm very appreciative of REM catch-up if this is the end result.

Many thanks to My sis, bro-in-law, and two nephews for a fab-tastic week in the UAE.

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Phobo-Phobia - JSC's = Ophidiophobia

Just been to the excellent Scare-Fest at London Bridge...Phobophobia!

Had my right hand hacked with a machete (actors being a little over zealous). Chainsaw wielding mad-men. Spooky women with blood dripping down their face and some weird teeth-chattering device in their mouths. Clowns - oh my goodness - I'll say that again: CLOWNS...

Claustrophobic corridors, headless cadavers, strobe lighting interspersed with sudden ear-splitting white noise.

And, to top it all off - I faced my fear: Ophidiophobia.

That's the fear of snakes folks. Hang a twelve foot yellow Boa-Constrictor around my neck and then place your hand on my chest. I must admit, there was a moment where I had a split-second surge of powerful, irrational fear. When Jade (giving her a nice name took away some apprehension) was wrapped around my shoulders and neck, I felt her weight, and her instant constriction, and I felt fine tbh. In fact, I was more fearfully fascinated when I saw a Cobra rise up and produce its hood at me at Wingham wildlife park last weekend. Thankfully, this sucker was behind some glass. I was crouched down looking at it through a slender sheet and thinking I will fall over like a fool if this thing strikes the glass.

One bite. No anti-venom. Three hours from death. That's what I don't like about them.

In the words of Indiana Jones: "I hate snakes."
All hail Alice Cooper.
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2 days, 7,000 words.

Not sure if this would be classed as ‘prolific’ in writing terms, but certainly by my standards, it’s my largest ever output over a 48 hour period.

I read somewhere, a couple of years ago, that John Boyne wrote the boy in the stripped pyjamas in 36 hours. That’s correct, folks:  36 hours!

Holy Heck…

Robert Muchamore sometimes goes 80+hours without sleeping - and writes like crazy throughout his episodes of insomnia.

Writing is a strange beast. I hit a point yesterday, between the 2000 and 2500 mark, where I just took-off like I was suffering from some form of mania. I’m not bi-polar, at least, not to the best of my knowledge, but it was closest I’ve ever come to a moment of euphoric creativity. Even now, I’ve written the next scene in my head, and while I’m outside gunning down a malboro light, I’m thinking, let’s get back to the laptop and write another 1,000…and then another. Also, I’m doing the maths: 10 days x 3000 words = 30,000 words. 40 days x 3000 words = 1st draft of a 120,000 word sequel completed. That’s just over a month to finish a book.

I think for me, for now anyway, I’ll just enjoy the 7,000 word PB; realize that this isn’t a sustainable or realistic output, and enjoy the moment.

Good night everybody.

I’m happy to report, I don’t currently suffer from Insomnia.

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The KDP select Conundrum...?

I’m not sure about KDP select. 

Maybe it works better for more established authors. Maybe it works less well for teen fiction. Sure, I’ve read the testimonies of those who saw it work for them, but one was for a cookbook and the other was for a ‘teach yourself languages’ book. Added to this, KDP select seems to have hit its pinnacle sometime in 2011. Hmmm…

I’m tied in until the 9th November. I have one free ‘giveaway’ day left. Do I use it? Do I leave it? It’s the day before my birthday so I might give everybody a present J

One thing is for certain: If you don’t advertise, nothing, absolutely nothing happens. I haven’t been slack by any means, but I must admit, it’s an awful lot of effort, with a limited set of promotional tools at your disposal.

Thankfully, I’m in this for the long term. I’m not looking for the Powerball approach to writing success. Slow and steady is fine by me. All the while, I’m still sticking to Plan A; write the next in the series…and write it well.

But, even this is proving arduous right now. I’m still loving the writing and the ideas are still coming, but I’m knackered. Totally wiped today.

Teaching and writing are not the most compatible of bed fellows. I felt quite light-headed today after a challenging but rewarding week at my school in SE London. My eyes hurt as I look at the screen and I’m looking forward to the half-term where I can crack on some more with Shelly Clover II. The key to all of this for me is to open up Scrivener and just start typing. Just do it. Let 200 words become 500 or more.  Little and often. Just finished chapter 4.

Quite a frenetic start to the book.  A few of the old-guard already involved. A couple of newbies.

Writing is so much fun. I recommend it.

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The Exorcist

Saw this tonight for the very first time.

What an amazing film.

We watched the Director’s cut. And, what better thing to do, than watch it with my good friends - the Hammer House of Horror connoisseurs - Kevin and Errol.

For years I wouldn’t go anywhere near this film - why was that? Some primeval fear about things we can’t control; things that lie outside the confines of modern psychology?

Truth is, I’ve been building myself up to watch this all week. But, why on earth did I need to ‘build’ myself? Didn’t need to for The Conjuring or Insidious 2. Why has this film lodged so powerfully in our collective global psyche?

It really is an astonishing film. 1973? Come again…1973? Atmosphere, acting, special effects, intensity and…real…palpable…fear. Linda Blair was incredible. I mean…how on earth did she act that?

It’s a subject matter we don’t like to discuss. 

Taboo. 

Modern psychiatry places it emphasis on finding a biological cause for psychopathology, and there has been some progress in establishing the relationship between genetics, chemical imbalances, neuronal pathways and mental disorders. Evil spirits, fallen angels and demoniacs are sooooo sixteenth century.

But, are we so arrogant to think that we have the complete picture? Does science have all the answers? Is it possible that the supernatural  can play a part in our existence and - quite rightly - mess with our rigid, preconceived notions of how this world and universe should work?

My good friend, who regularly takes his anti-psychotic medication, is now living a more fulfilled life. He no longer hears ‘Chukker’ in his head. Hail to the drugs. Seriously.  Biological treatment has worked without treating the cause. But, that doesn’t matter to my friend, and quite rightly so.

But that’s Schizophrenia. 

What about the other ‘stuff’?

What about the case in Indianapolis (Jan 2014) where the boy walked backwards up the wall during an exorcism (witnessed and attested by police officers, a social worker and a psychologist).

What on earth?  

Or to be more accurately rephrased: What not of this earth?

I’m so glad I watched this film, and I’m still not quite sure about what it is that’s impacted me so deeply about it. Is it a girl under deep distress? Is the possibility of true evil? I’m hoping the answers will come in the next week.

The Exorcist makes my TOP 5 films of all time, and without any doubt, is the best Horror movie that has ever been made. Go watch it, or go watch it again.

Peace and sweet dreams

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So proud of my team...

I'm gonna indulge.

You might want to watch this, you might not...

 Liverpool v Boro. Most penalties ever in a competition.


My team helped break a British footballing record on Tuesday evening: The longest ever penalty shoot-out. It's gone round the world, so I thought I'd post.

We lost 14-13. I'm a lifelong Boro fan btw. The atmosphere in the pub was Amazing! I could not speak on Wednesday - cheering 13 penalties kills your throat. Phenomenal night. Proud of the Boro.

It’s been a (little) while.

It’s been a (little) while.

An interesting last 2-3 weeks in terms of book stuff.  I tried the free advertising tools, with marginal impact. And then, grrr, I bit the bullet; I paid for advertising. It was an offer. It was cheap. It’s still ongoing. Once again, this too appears to have had only a marginal impact (so far).

Undeterred, I’m painstakingly focused on my PLAN A.

Plan A is ambitious.

I’m 20,000 words into book 2. I’m going to work on book 3 as well. Hopefully, by July next year, the second and the third will be out. It’s an exciting challenge and I’m not making promises, but I’d like to give it a good go. We’ll see. 

One of the problems I foresee will be sourcing an artist to create two surrealist covers. I want my covers to be in a similar vein to the first. At Uni, I had a wonderful Dominique Appia poster on my wall - Entre les Trous de la memoire. I love this kind of stuff. I was fascinated by some book I read as a young kid where the illustrator drew a man painting on easel. The picture on the easel was an image of the man painting himself.  And so, within this picture, was another perpetuated image of the man painting. So, on and on it went into the distance, each picture of the man painting, getting smaller and smaller. I was five and freaked out! (And, it distracted me from continually defacing my mother’s world atlas with large dinosaurs.)

So, this search for an artist may cost £££, if I'm to get what I want.

It’s been a little while since I last blogged. More coming. I love it.

Big Thanks to Steve Morris for a 5 star review. J

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Ice Bucket challenge with my two little Ninja Assassins.

Behind all the words...
This is a little snippet of me.
The ALS website (which is what this is all about) is here: http://www.alsa.org/
Sadly, just read that a poll for Brits who have taken the IBC, says that only half have actually donated!
53% don't even know why they're doing it/what the cause is!
I apologise on behalf of the apathetic and ignorant people in my homeland. Psychologists - Normative Social Influence being demonstrated to the nth degree.
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Preparing for the rainy day.

Dew on mum’s lawn in North Yorkshire this morning. Sunny, but chilly. 

Blue, cold skies.

‘It’s going to be nice down south this week.’ she said.

A train back to King’s Cross with my daughters.

Back home and a quick check of the met office website for the week.

Rain all day tomorrow.

February 23rd saw weekend temperatures of 19.5 degrees, and here we are in August with a max of about 16. I really don’t like this unseasonable weather. I have seasonal affective disorder, just like my main character.

I could be getting ready for the Burning Man festival right now.

Still, always look on the bright side of life. I can do a bit of promotion for the book. The KDP select knock-on effect has somewhat dwindled. Time to think outside the box.

Where, oh where, do you go now with a $0.99 ebook? I think this will be a particularly interesting two weeks in terms of raising profile. I’ve scoured the internet for sites to advertise MMMSC as a $0.99 ebook. But, in the long term (in keeping with ‘thinking’ outside the box), I might try some avenues outside of the mighty Internet. Shall I try the traditional pen and paper route?

My problem (or, redemptive quality?) is that I’m flat out refusing to spend any money on advertising. After spending over £500 on a proof reader (worth it, worth it, worth it), and £60 on cover options, I can’t justify spending more money on premium advertising options for a ninety-nine center! Not sure if I’m in the minority on this front.  As always, I’ll report the results back in a couple of weeks.

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So, it's on to write down the sequel...

So, it’s on to write down the sequel.

I’m getting to grips with Scrivener, and I’m thinking this piece of software could be the golden ticket to pure writing pleasure. Not that I don’t experience writing pleasure in other forms…I definitely do. I love it.

For the first book, I created hundreds of post-it notes with detailed, hand-drawn scenes, character profile pics, and pieces of plot ideas. They’re all rammed into a portfolio busting at the seams. Good days. Awkward to spread out in confined spaces.

Scrivener is going to address this paper parody in a positive way - Here’s hoping.

Nothing was incidental in the first book; nothing at all. Throw away scenes and comments…not so much…

I’m excited about the first chapter. I’m finding that flow again. Writing little and often is the remit. 4,026 words in (not that I particularly care for word count - but it helps I suppose, in terms of ‘measurable’ progression).Tentatively placed a July 2015 release date on the website, but, possibly (probably) sooner.

 

Don’t want to be too eager. Don’t want to be over-zealous.

Want to be faithful to the original. Want to be imaginative and colourful.

Time will tell. Time will indeed tell.

Got the titles for the third and fourth. ‘Umming’ and ‘Ahhing’ over the title for this one.

Can’t wait to develop characters…

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KDP Select Results/Analysis

KDP select run-through.

So, I decided to use the KDP select feature and use 4 of my 5 free days from the beginning.

Overall, I think this has been worthwhile venture. 

I’ll go through what I did (with my thoughts) a day at a time.

Day 1: 55 downloads.

In the run up to the first day, I advertised my ebook on about 20-25 Free ebook websites. I purposefully didn’t pay for any premium advertising. I actually had a list of about 50-55 sites where I intended to promote, but some of these required 7-14 days notice. (I had five days to spare.) Others seemed to be free sites, but when I finalised the registration process and was at the stage of confirming my book on their page, I was suddenly directed to payment options. Certain sites required a certain quota of amazon book reviews before the book could be considered for promotion.  All in all, my options were reduced from 50/55 to 20/25.

I would have been happy for 50-60 downloads over the course of four days and to get that figure on the first day felt great. I finally opened that bottle of champagne.

Day 2: 38 downloads.

I managed to get my ebook promotion on two ‘on the day’ sites.  Downloads came down a bit, but I was still encouraged.  The drop could be because my ebook was no longer on the main/first page of some of the sites, and those who distributed free book emails tended to do it for a certain day eg free books for Tues etc.

Day 3: 22 downloads.

No promotion on this day. This was my ‘learning’ day. 22 downloads is great, don’t get me wrong, but I learned that it’s probably best to intensify the promotion over 2/3 days, rather than 4. I didn’t promote at all, because I wanted to check if copies would shift without my hand.

Day 4: 44 downloads.

I advertised across seven ‘on the day’ facebook pages that promoted free ebooks. I worded my message carefully, so that people knew it was the final day. This worked. Some people shared and thumbs-upped my msg.

Overall, the 159 downloads exceeded my expectations. It didn’t have thousands and thousands of downloads like some authors have experienced, but that didn’t matter.  I hoped that the free ebook might translate into reviews and a raise in profile. It did the latter. On the ‘people who viewed your page, also viewed’ section of Amazon, it was clear that people were now looking at my book.

I did have a five star review on.com which was great. (I had one review on .co.uk prior to this.) This, I think, was someone who purchased the book just prior to the promotion.  I was very grateful for this review.  It made a big difference.

In terms of the knock on effect on sales - which authors seem to report - this did happen/is happening. Not much, marginal maybe, but noticeable enough.

Just want to say a big thank-you for the support, downloads, page-views and a big mention to the sites that give you the platform for promoting you work. As always, if anybody has any questions, ask away.

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KDP Select

My dad said he was ‘very proud’…and that will do nicely.

Honestly, I’ve never heard him say that. I mean, never. He had the paperback version delivered to his workplace, and then called me.

‘It’s a lot better than I expected.’

And then he said it. Those exact words.  I was taken back.

I love ebooks, but for my pa - despite everything I’ve told him about my writing - it’s not until he gets an 8.5x5.5x1 copy in his hands, and he feels the weight of the book, and he looks at the front cover…that his boy actually has written a book.

It’s been a good week.

KDP Select downloads over my four free days.

Day 1) 55

Day 2) 38

Day 3) 22

Day 4) 44

Total: 159

…And, some sales after too.

I’ll print some thoughts about this on Sunday (what worked, what didn’t). But, for now; it achieved pretty much what I wanted it to do.

I’m very grateful to all who downloaded - very grateful indeed.

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Final FREE YA ebook day...Scrivener...

FINAL FREE YA EBOOK DAY. Thanks for the downloads! LAST CHANCE LINKS BELOW

Amazon.com

Amazon.co.uk

Scrivener,

I’m quite excited about using this program. I’m going to post to forums to see what others in the community think.

It looks like it could be an incredibly useful acquisition for writing the second in the series. I have a strange feeling that Scrivener could be just about the perfect tool for me. I’m already jotting down ideas and playing with it…messing with character/scene cards etc…but I’m not using it anywhere like it should be used.

Truth is, I’m absolutely shattered after releasing the book.

And now, there’s a massive Scrivener tutorial to work through. _.GROAN._.

After countless days reading books/PDF’s on formatting, reading books/websites about promotion, having a gargantuan 3 day wrestle with headers & footers on Word, and filling out free ebook submission forms in ready for the promotion…the last thing on this earth I want to do is read/work through a tutorial.

It will be worth it, but my eyes hurt and my fingers are blistered.

._.GROAN._.

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(Desperately (and I mean desperately) sad news about Robin Williams. My only hope is that Robin’s sad passing will trigger us all to get real about depression. I’ll post stuff about depression in due course. I’m thinking about you lots, Robin…)

FREE YA ebook day III and thoughts on KDP select!

Free YA ebook day III - Mis-fit, Misplaced, Miss Shelly Clover.

…and, some more thoughts on being a self-published author.

Links to free books here.

Amazon.com

Amazon.UK

So, KDP Select.

I’ve unpublished myself from Smashwords temporarily. I’ve enrolled in the 90 day KDP select programme. I’m on day 3 of my assigned 4 free days of book giveaways.

Thoughts.

Too early to call. But, from what I can assess, so far:

J The book is being downloaded, and is reaching new people. Thank-you everybody!

J I’m quite high up in the Australian/Canadian/UK/German/USA charts for Dystopian & Paranormal for teen fiction (FREE category)

J People are viewing my blog/website - not many, but encouraging nonetheless.

L No reviews or feedback (yet).

More substantial and informative thoughts about this process coming your way on Wednesday evening.

What is interesting about KDP Select (and I am glad I anticipated this), is that your book will languish in cyberspace, unless you advertise/promote it. It will do nada.

So, what I did - in the days running up to this promotion - was contact about 20-25 promotion sites. I advertised my Four day Free push through these. I ignored the premium listings. I didn’t want to spend a penny on advertising, and despite the temptation to spend a few dollars here and there, I stuck to my principles.

I have one 5 star review on Amazon.uk, but no others on Amazon.com/ca/de/au etc. This can really hurt your downloads by all accounts. I’ll print my thoughts on this on Wed, and will give everybody an analysis of download figures for each day.

In the meantime, thanks to everybody for your support. 

And, whoever it is who keeps +1(ing) each post I've made - you are one v.special person to me.

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A FREE YA ebook Thank You!

I was a bit blown away by how many of you downloaded Mis-fit, Misplaced, Miss Shelly Clover yesterday.
A big heart-felt thank you. I hope you enjoy.

Same again for three more days? Click below
Amazon.com
Amazon.UK

Mis-fit, Misplaced, Miss Shelly Clover is now FREE as an ebook for FOUR days!

Download for free and drop me a review. The links are below
Amazon.com
Amazon.co.uk - 5 stars

Enjoy.
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1 day to go - the free ebook giveaway of Mis-fit, Misplaced, Miss Shelly Clover on Amazon.com - (starts 00.00 pacific time and runs for four days) see below for link:

Mis-fit, Misplaced, Miss Shelly Clover

Confidence.

So, I’m joining a few community groups here on Blogger.

I love the idea of a writing community. We’re all in this together. We’re all at different stages of learning our trade. We can help each other. This is all right up my altruistic street.

It’s a bit strange though. Anyone who knows me in the flesh, knows that I’m a chatty, approachable and gregarious Yorkshireman. One to one, I’m Jim to those who know me. Open, honest and friendly.

But, on social media…waahh…for some reason - and this is why I’d never make a good keyboard warrior - I’m flipping shy when it comes to leaving comments.

This is a whole new ball game for me. I have this poncey sounding author name.  How will people/friends react to that? (I’ve seen a couple of James Clark’s in this industry already, so I can’t use first, and surname.) I so very nearly went for a pseudonym. 

Having a love of psychology, and teaching in this area, shows you that fear is a state of mind. We all have it - I do too. It’s just a case of being able to recognise it, break it down, identify the irrational origins and manage it. The fact of the matter is: Fear is an overrated state of mind.

We all now love those rollercoasters we were terrified of as kids. (An exception could be that ‘mental’ slingshot ride in America.)

In the wonderful words of Susan Jeffer’s, in her excellent book, Feel the fear…and do it anyway!

And, by the grace of God, that’s exactly what I’m going to do throughout my entire writing career.

BTW - How much am I loving blogging?

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Ps. So sad to learn that Susan Jeffer’s passed away at the end of 2012. Do buy her book - Highly recommended.

2 days to free ebook promo on Amazon. Part III - The fascinating experience of being a self-published author.

Free Kindle Ebook in 2 days time! Amazon.com

You against the world...

So, I'm around 3 weeks into this, and I never cease to be amazed by 'what it takes...'

How do you stick your book's head out above the crowd. How badly do you want it to? Why do you want it to?

It becomes abundantly clear, very, very quickly that it's you from the ground looking up, waiting and focusing on a (very) distant prize. I've had a few people say to me, 'Well done, you've had a book published. what an achievement?'

Truthfully, that champagne - the one I had on ice in the fridge - it's still there. Why on earth is it still there? Why the heck am I not celebrating an achievement? Because...in some really strange (and completely unexpected) way...it doesn't feel like one?

As many self-published authors will attest, having a book published is not the end. It is so very, very much the beginning. And, it is truly a labyrinth of fear. You can see many SP authors along with me, spinning around and around and scratching their heads. Where to now? I sincerely hope that I will have the answers and wisdom to share with others in a year or two's time. When I get that wisdom and experience, I will share it here. You betcha!
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3 days to free book promo on amazon!

Part II - The fascinating experience of being a self-published author.

DISASTER.

So, I followed the fantastic 100+ page pdf by Mark Coker on how to format my ebook for Smashwords.

I read the manual word for word. I crossed the t's, Dotted my i's, hooped my o's and looped my y's. I followed it verbatim. I made premium status without hiccup.

...Same with formatting for the Kindle. Oh, how I smiled...

Easy.

I swaggered away from my laptop into the kitchen for a glass of vino.

Then, came the POD version via create space...

All fine - and then. waahh...

3 days later...(still) waahh...

How can it be that the single, most onerous task I encountered in this whole formatting process, was getting Header's and Footer's to work on Word?

Word is staple, Word is faithful....Word's Header and Footer section is illogical.

Page Breaks don't make sense or work like they should. Odd/Even page options are confusing and don't work like they should. The page number icon doesn't work like it should. There are confusing terms that don't do what they should. Why is this aspect of Word so non-linear and illogical?

3 days it took - trying to get Roman Numerals on the first 5 pages,  creating the desired page break, and then making it so the page numbers start from 1 and go 1,2,3,4,5 rather than 1,1,1,1,1.

My grand design to get my name on one Header and my book title at the top of the adjacent Header were catapulted into the stratosphere. As soon as I got those bad-boy numbers working at the top of the page, I honestly dare not touch, or even breathe at the computer screen. It was a gentle hover over to save...and then, send.

Honestly, using the pilcrow and meatgrinder was a doddle in comparison with Headers and Footers for the print version of Mis-fit, Misplaced.

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The fascinating experience of being a self-published author.

Well, you can't beat holding that inch thick book in your hands at the end of it all, but am I sucker for the process just as much as the prize?

For me, this whole journey has been truly fascinating. I have learned so many useful things, and the first lesson I've learned (along with many others that I'll share) is this...

Lesson 1: Cognitive Blindness affects us all.

Our minds fill in the gaps in sentences. I remember after the 3rd Redraft of Mis-fit, Misplaced MSC, I was c.o.n.v.i.n.c.e.d that it was foolproof. But, the only fool was me, and the proof came when I left the manuscript for 6 months and then tidied it up again ready for my paid proofreader (essential).

Mistakes!?

I honestly thought that I'd not saved the correct, latest version, and I was looking at an earlier draft. Stephen King says you should leave your manuscript for at least 6 weeks before looking at it again. We do well to listen to the King.

My proofreader was excellent and highlighted a fair number of missed words - about 12! He was also excellent in many other ways. I was astonished, and immensely humbled...and very grateful.

Even after my own amendments of his highlights, I still needed the keen eye of a friend to spot my misuse of the word 'passed' and 'penultimate' before the thing was truly ready (or, as ready as it will ever be).

My advice at the end of this post is - don't trust your own eyes. You read what you want to see. I'm so glad that I relied on 'others' during this fascinating process.

Guardians of the Galaxy.

I went to see this last night and I thought it was excellent - great characters, great laughs.

It got me thinking...

This whole concept of a guardian. Where are they now? I guess when we think about a guardian, we associate the term with people who look out for us/after us. In my teaching career - when I distributed letters for the pupils to take home - I was careful to mention, 'Get your mum, dad, or guardian to sign and return the slip.' So, I'm familiar with this particular and important role of a guardian in the lives of students.

But, what about the rest of the time?

We see societies made of people who don't always take ownership of their communities. They don't invest in their locale for many reasons. language barriers, political reasons, general despondancy etc. So, where are all the guardians in our lives? In days gone by, were guardians more prevalent? Do you have any in your lives right now?

A guardian is a protector, somebody who looks out for you. Someone who you can trust. Someone who cares...

Just think what a difference having guardians on the street where we lived would make. Just 2 or 3. Men and women who would have your best interests at heart. They'd look-out for you. Instead of fragmented communities ruled by fear and distrust...togetherness.

What I loved about Guardians of the Galaxy is that the protagonists had their faults! We don't have to be picture-perfect to care. Nobody is perfect. But, we can all choose to care... We can all make a difference if we engage.

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While I wait for the pasta to boil...

The first official blog after my bumbling attempt to write the first.
(Which was a bit like trying on new underpants in a changing room, and then, turning round, and realising that you're actually in the front window of a department store.)

I'm looking forward to exploring this world of blogging and sharing my experiences on the whole self-publishing-shenanigans.

I have purposefully put extra think pasta in the pan (to cater for typos, searches for correct spellings online etc).

I'll begin with a thank-you.

Not for sales first of all, (but...they're great...and ta...:)).

...but, for 'encouragement'.

Yeah, that's all I needed really. It's nerve-racking throwing a bunch of words out there to the world. I believe in the book, but am I misguided, delusional, blowing on a pipe, or all three? Or, was I right all along. TWT.

Huge thank you to all for encouraging words.
The whole Shelly Clover series will be about exactly that - the massive power in our words and actions. I have a secret theme for each book and I'm itching to crack on with the second.

More on this whole parade shortly.

Signing out for this first official blog with a jar of pesto in one hand.
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Lovely, lovely. Testing. 1,2,3.

First Blog.

Preparing to integrate into ShellyClover.com.

I have a feeling I'm going to enjoy blogging